she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
