I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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