I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
