Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
