A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
