there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Green mimosas i think yes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
