We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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