It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
