He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
