So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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