Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
