ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
His nipple licking is glorious
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