I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize