I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
