you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
