It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
