ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
