She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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