just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
