in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
