i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
