At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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