Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
