I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
