Just fell off a train. Bad.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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