Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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