i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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