Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
