So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
