? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
