We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
