No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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