I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
