So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I am available for nakedness
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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