Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
