Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
