I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My breasts were aching with rage.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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