I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
