honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
