im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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