So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
