the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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