We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
