the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
