I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
