I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
