also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My ATM looks so different sober.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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