OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
