I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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