Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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