did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
