if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
