i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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