And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
