In the future we'll all be gay
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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