I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
