Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
