Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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