So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
