Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
