you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
