I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
