I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
they need to just BURY HIM!
vagina is talking i cant
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
