did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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