dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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