My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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