the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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